3 Tips For Transitioning Through Growth
The first step of getting what you want is to have the courage to get rid of what you don't. Zig Ziglar
I gave away my favourite pair of heels this weekend. I hadn't worn them in a while and I didn't see myself wearing them any time soon either. Still, I was upset to let them go.
Like many others, I'm using the time we have at home to reflect and do a bit of a Spring clean. If you haven't done this in a while, losing belongings, clothes, decor can feel akin to saying goodbye to an old friend, a previous version of yourself, that you've now outgrown. Some aspects have been refreshing and others more emotional than I'd like to admit. With this time under lockdown also coinciding with a house move, I've put more thought than usual toward evaluating the parts of myself that I want to keep and leaving behind the parts that are no longer appealing. The process has resulted in a heightened awareness of the power we all have to decide who we want to be, how we want to be perceived and most importantly, what we think of ourselves. Quite honestly, it's highlighted that there's a lot of work to be done in all areas and as painful as growth can be, it's also wonderfully humbling and some valuable lessons can be learned along the way.
Here are 3 tips I've found that have helped me transition through this period.
Think more kindly toward yourself.
The way we think of ourselves has a huge impact on our behaviour, from how we walk and carry ourselves to the way in which we communicate and take care of ourselves, and even has an impact on what we're capable of achieving at work. If we want to increase our positive and productive behaviours, we can begin by thinking of ourselves more kindly - when we make mistakes, responding with a warm and compassionate voice; when we recognise flaws within ourselves, responding with the accepting and supportive tone of a loving parent. Encouragement does more for productivity and achievement than criticism ever could, so be kind in your words toward and about yourself. One of the greatest words of advice that has helped me in this endeavour is to "talk to yourself like you would talk to someone you care about".
Find ways to express yourself.
There are so many different and unique crafts we can take up from the comfort of our own homes. From simply singing in the shower, playing that instrument you've invested in, growing plants in your garden or just rearranging the furniture in your home. Whatever the task, find a way to do it creatively and really show who you are through your chosen activity. The way we dress each day can equally be used as an avenue to express ourselves. Because even if we don't intend it to, or don't care that it does, how you dress always expresses something about you. It has influence over the way you feel within yourself as well as how others see you (virtually or otherwise) and can leave an impression that stays long after you're gone. By being more aware of what we express, and how, we can begin to delve more into the "why" behind the expressions we display.
Believe you're capable.
Change the tone of belief in your voice from "I can" to "I will".
Over the long Easter weekend, I submitted a video audition for an acting school. I was going back and forth in my mind the whole weekend trying to decide whether I was going to do it or whether there was any point given that no matter how hard I tried, it wouldn't be good enough to get in. A big part of getting to the point of actually making the video was changing the way I told myself "I can do it". From a doubt riddled attempt to convince myself that it was possible to a more sobering tone of "No, I really will do it". As Zoe Bruton put well in her article on resiliency, "doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will". When we're faced with a challenge, really believing you can overcome what's in front of you makes all the difference in your success.
There are many examples of people now and in the past that have had a strength of mindset that has lead to extraordinary achievement. Alexander the Great and Julius Caesar believed they were descendants from God and partly divine. Jordan Peterson said that this type of belief translates to high levels of confidence and leads to self-fulfilling prophecies. Whilst we don't need to indulge in such grandiose thoughts, feeling that you are destined for or capable of more gives you a certain degree of resiliency - resiliency being your capacity to adapt in the face of challenging circumstances. The ability to stay calm under pressure and recover quickly from problems is not a personality trait. It's something that can be learned and which we can all take steps to develop. With all the uncertainty and anxiety COVID has brought, now more than ever, resilience is in increasing demand and we have great opportunity before us to practise and develop this skill, no matter the level we're currently at.
P.S. I didn't get into acting school. But the feeling of relief and accomplishment after sending the audition tape was uplifting... if we shine light on and celebrate the little things, hopefully the bigger picture will be a little brighter too.