ME, MY RAMADAN AND OUR UNINVITED GUEST: LOCKDOWN
By Sana Butt
There is now almost a week left to go of Ramadan and I know most of us will be going through those all-too-familiar emotions as we prepare to bring our sacred month to an end. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, during these surreal times, amidst the outbreak of a global pandemic, Ramadan this year has been like no other.
We could not congregate in a mosque for any prayer, but more specific to Ramadan, we could not gather for the Taraweeh prayer – additional prayer performed at night, after the fifth obligatory prayer: Isha. Iftars (breaking of the fast) with family and friends were a no-go and we all now know that the chances of being able to perform an Eid prayer with our local communities is zero. There has been a lot we’ve had to sacrifice this Ramadan in order to protect ourselves, our loved ones and the wider community; but as I reflect on this month, I can’t help but see the quarantine times as a blessing whilst I was fasting.
I remember having my 1:1 with my line manager a couple of weeks before Ramadan was due to start, and we were discussing changing my hours to suit me. I told her the truth: that I had no clue how Ramadan was going to feel or how I was going to adapt to the routine so in essence I didn’t actually know what hours I wanted to work. I am blessed to be working for a firm that have always been front-runners when it comes to flexible working, so I was told to see how it goes and if I wanted to change anything, I could do so at my discretion. (A massive shoutout to my line manager for this trust and support!)
I decided to work 9am to 4:30pm (keeping half an hour in for Zuhr prayers in the day and taking half an hour off at the end of the day) and took it from there. I was actually very nervous about Ramadan in lockdown. Would the days go slower? Would I feel the fast more, as I wasn’t commuting to and from the office and was just sat at home? Would I feel more tired? Would I be more prone to accidentally eating because I’m at home? So many unknowns, but I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. Allah had it covered for me, because Ramadan in lockdown has been the easiest way to fast.
Hubz and I are getting ready to sleep by 11:30pm, we wake up for sehri (the meal consumed before sunrise), crawl back into bed and doze off about 4:30am (this is easier some nights and not so much the others) and wake up at 8:30am – still aiming to get a perfect 7/7.5 hours of sleep. I’m working from 9am to 4:30pm, and then I slowly begin getting food ready for iftar post-work. We break fast at sunset, having fasted for about 17 hours, pray and then finally have some time to wind down together before repeating it all over again. Ramadan has given me something I have struggled so much to find whilst in lockdown – a routine (we remember what that is, right?)
Because of the absence of a 90-minute commute, fasting, specifically during these times, has made me feel more relaxed at home. It means I am better rested, and if for whatever reason I haven’t slept well I have time after 4:30pm to fix that – nothing like a couple of hours nap – simple luxuries, right? I think it goes without saying that I’m in my comfort zone at home, which has in turn allowed me to have more time to focus on my faith. I have been able to pray on time with no distractions, no worries about trekking to office prayer rooms and most importantly, not having to worry about wearing clothes suitable for the office and suitable for prayer – best believe my PJs have been serving me well some days!
As well as this, I find the main advantage for me is that we’ve both had more time to cook and prepare food – not just for iftar, but sehri too. I remember the struggle, for both of us last year, of creating a “cooking” routine, amidst travelling to and from work, actually being at work and attending meetings/events, and working around family visits. Trying to do all that while fasting for both of us was mentally draining – even when I was choosing to work from home a few days a week. Lockdown has allowed us to plan, meal prep and cook so much better. We discuss our meetings and calls, work out who is best placed to stop for a quick break to start prepping part of the meal – chopping up onions, taking meat out to thaw, preparing the dough for rotis (chapattis) etc. I’ve never been more appreciative of the lockdown (or my husband for that matter – don’t tell him I said that though.)
Another big appreciation which has grown whilst lockdown-fasting (yes, I coin this term) is that I have become so much more appreciative of my job and my workplace. I am grateful to be able to work from home and grateful to remain busy enough so that a main chunk of my day keeps me occupied and away from my kitchen. I am grateful for the flexibility I have to manage my time, and the trust my employer places in me to find a routine that’s right for me whilst I still maintain integrity to my work.
Ramadan always comes back and teaches us how to maintain a minimalist life and makes us evaluate what our bare-necessities really are. It’s a month about humbling yourself. Uncanny I guess, as lockdown has also given us this, with the closure of restaurants, shopping centres and coffee shops and the enforcement of a much simpler lifestyle. Whilst quarantining has come with its challenges for so many, myself included, I look back over this month, and I am able to see the positives of this time and how it’s helped me. It’s allowed me to feel more relaxed and restful whilst observing my fasts, and in a way has helped my wellbeing – ironic, really.
Today we have seven days (maybe six, depending on the moon) left of Ramadan and contrary to the lifestyle we now have, I can feel the same sadness creeping in that I felt last year. Knowing that by next weekend, it’ll be over again. I guess quarantining or not, Ramadan will always be an indescribable experience. Whilst it’s been a positive one, I pray and hope Ramadan 2021 will allow us to pray in mosques, break fasts together and celebrate Eid as a family and as a community. Inshallah (Allah willing).